yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize