I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
