giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
