Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
