he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
