last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
