Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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