dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So much rum. So many feels.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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