I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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