Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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