My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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