Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
We smell like vodka and hangover
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