Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Shame is for Republicans.
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