The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
