I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
