You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
