tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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