Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
