she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
