Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
