So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
