How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
