just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
