If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize