yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
