Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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