Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
