Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
