I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
