You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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