i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
