All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
