i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
