I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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