Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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