He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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