ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
