3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
