i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
