Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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