i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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