you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
