I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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