bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
