why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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