I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm at about main and main street
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
