he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
