My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
