whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize