shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
