Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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