is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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