That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
