No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
