I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
