so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize