Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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