pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
