ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
