no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
