hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
