Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
