i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
