i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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