I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
