There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
