We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize