I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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