I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
its not stalking. its research.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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