I heard we made out
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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