I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
